Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
"also, girls call dibs on guys, and that’s annoying! and girls can be catty and mean when all i want them to do is love me like the sister i never had. but i can be catty too, and I’m probably expectingway too much too soon. but ALSO, now that I’m getting it all out there, woman get mad so easily over tiny details, sometimes not all the time. anyway, this is a whole other post for another day."
-alexi wasser, i feel the exact same way
ps-ITS LIKE SHE'S IN MY BRAIN sometimes, read this on her blog & all i have to say is AMEN sister! especially the last part " i haven’t found a potential best friend who encompasses all these things, YET! but I’ve found fragments- here and there- in different people. and maybe that’s all i’ll ever find." story of my life
read all of it here : http://imboycrazy.com/2010/08/the-perfect-bfff-best-female-friend-forever/
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
this quote REALLY hit home, been an emotional roller coaster lately, don't really know how to start, here goes nothing...
I feel like i'm at a point in my life where i'm just fed up with everyone's bullshit. People who are your best friend one day, turn out to be people you've never even known. I mean how can someone you considered such a close friend, just walk out of your life like nothing the next day? IT'S BULLSHIT it's like you never knew them at all, because how is it that that person who knew you, better than anyone else can do something like that to you, over nothing? WHATEVER I feel like people who are like that were never my true friends in the first place right? they can't be, but thats probably what makes it more fucked up, cos i was fooled this whole time.
Every single person I've ever allowed to get close to me has either fucked me over or seriously hurt me which is the same thing but it's true, it's like if there was an award for 'person who gets the most fucked up friends' I would win it! hands down I would. How is that though? EVERY SINGLE PERSON? and then people who know me wonder why I have trust issues HELLO! the minute I get close to someone it's only a matter of time for them to fuck me over I really thought I was done with this after high school. I guess in high school when my "friends" would fuck me over I'd try & get them back but, after high school, and since my accident I've just been all about "life isn't worth holding grudges there's more to life than DRAMA & GRUDGES" so I can honestly say I haven't held on to any grudges when it comes to people I no longer talk to after high school & from high school either. I will forever miss my memories with them cos I LOVED them[he memories]& they mean a lot to me I DID always have the time of my life with these people and even though they've fucked me over I feel like I'll still love all my great memories with them. I don't miss them s a people I just miss the memories more than anything, you cant exactly miss a person, when they are no longer that person you once enjoyed all those memories with.
I think need to re-evaluate the people I get close to, I don't think I let people get close to now as it is, but I feel like now I cant let anyone get close to me even my own friends because it's almost as if I DON'T know who my true friends are, I'm obviously wrong when it comes to who I feel I can get close to, I can care about, and I can stay friends with, I've been wrong this whole time, and I feel like an idiot about it. I can name a handful of people right now since 2007 who have hurt me, who i once considered a close friend, who turned out to not give a shit about me.
HONESTLY though I'm not the lets be bffs 2 seconds after you meet kinda person either,[i HATE those types] even though I know that's what I sound like right now, honestly that handful of people I'd actually known for years and years but only got close too recently most have fucked me over and, one was that, I was just sick of them, their bullshit actually, their fake-ness not necessarily to me but to others, I think one of my problems is I really do care a lot about my friends I tend to put my friends before family sometimes, I'm that 'I'll be there for you type' & I like taking care of my friends if they happen too get too drunk, I've been told I'm the mom outta my friends cos even though I hate kids I like taking care of my friends making sure they're ok I just feel like it's my duty as a good friend to be there for them, and I hardly ever get that back from them, I'll always be the one they can come to with their problems cos I listen and I do try to help out anyway I can but I don't think I always get that back from them, I think I put more into the friendship than they do & I'm the one that gets hurt in the end. FML for caring too much I guess.
I guess all I'm saying is it really sucks when you realize someone you though was your best friend & would continue to be your best friend isn't. Kinda make me feel like a complete idiot for ever getting close to them in the first place. It's a loss that I really thought I wouldn't have to deal with until someone close to me died, but I guess I'm dealing with the death of a friendship sooner instead of later. I've never had a problem with people no longer being in my life after something like them fucking me over, its just not like that this time, its over nothing and that's the end of it. nothing more. nothing left.
i'm just going to tell myself what I always have 'life goes on' it's true, time does heal all but most importantly something I really do strive to live out every day "fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me" I've only let ONE person back into my life after they've fucked me over in some way or another, and I think that person is the one where I didn't see it coming. It's the only time I've ever broken my 'never take someone back into my life who's done me wrong' motto I won't say I regret letting them back in because the memories I had with this person up until recently are thee best I've had my whole life in a way, these recent memories make up for that one year i was not speaking to this person , never regret, but never making the same mistakes twice either, I'm learning from this, from now on I'm staying true to myself I REFUSE to get hurt all over again, to CARE for someone again when they don't give a shit about me, and to ALLOW myself to get close to someone only to get hurt. I simply refuse, I'd rather come off as a bitch to you, than be fake to myself. SO heartless bitch, too stuck up to say hi, whatever call it what you want I've been hurt too many times. That is why this motto really hit home I DO need to find the ones worth suffering for because as of now everyone i've suffered over hasn't been worth it,.
this is my official motivation for wanting to finish school and get into SFS or Berkeley [in my dream right] but yes! I WANNA MOVE! meet people who don't know shit about my past, meet people who are motivated and intelligent and surround myself with postiveness, motivation & ambition! I WANNA GET OUT & LIVE!
this is probably one of my most favorite moz songs because of the words listen, its my all time pick me up song
"Take me out tonightwhere there's music and there's people
who are young and alive
driving in your car
I never never want to go home
because I haven't got one anymore
Take me out tonight
because I want to see people
and I want to see life
driving in your car
oh please don't drop me home
because it's not my home, it's their home
and I'm welcome no more"
Saturday, August 14, 2010
i want these so badly!!! they'd go great with my new dress too BUT i don't have 2000 bones laying around :(
IF I did I WOULD BUY THESE in a heartbeat!!! seriously & i'd probably wear them everywhere haha they're adorable! honestly I'm a sucker for em, even when i worked selling heels, & before that when I would have to dress up for work when i used to sell rolex's and fine jewelry i was whatever about my heels a few pairs of different black pump was all i'd wear, i DID wear snake skin to prom ha that was fun
ANYWAYS i think for my FE dress I'm gonna go with snake skin my dress is off white & black so i think something like these would be perfect, decided no on a POP of color i like my black & white anyway
these are Christian Louboutin platforms i found them on sale from 870 to 160 not bad but i'll what i decide next friday aka payday cos i might just have to settle for some knock off just like these but from aldo EXCEPT the aldo ones DON'T have red on the bottom like these Louboutin's :( wahhhh! we'll see, i do love my snake skin!
sooooo much seriously i love it ! & now all i need is heels fucking cute ones but i have no clue what kind!?
some booty type heels like possibly this ???
orrr something like this???
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
1-If you actually like her, want to date her, want her to like you the way you like her, if you really like her CALL HER pick up the phone, grow a sack and call
2-Dress up if you want to impress a girl, seriously graphic tees and some matching kicks really don't wow us take some tips from Joseph Gordon Levitt casual yet classy always dress like a gentlemen and always looks hauteeee! throw on a cardigan how about maybe a collared shirt? we're not asking to put on a suit keep you nice kicks its a huge turn on when a guy looks classy yet casual, i mean you like seeing ladies in a dress right? well we like seeing you look dapper too!
3-When you take a girl out for a first date, put some thought into it, if you wanna pick a spot where you can conversate for a while pick a place that wont rush you out asap, be creative if your meeting her for the first time and maybe would rather not sit face to face pick a spot where you can sit side by side most sushi places have great side by side seating [ AFLOAT sushi in pasadena is GREAT look at my PS-for more spots]
4-If a girl wants you to go shopping with her, don't be afraid to say noooo don't be her bitch she has girlfriends right?? well thats what they're for shopping, girls nights and all that other shit you guys shouldn't deal with
5-Guys who smell good=HUGE HUGE HUGE turn on [musky+manly+clean scents=irrestible]
6-No job, no car, no education other than high school, not being able to carry an intelligent conversation, no sense of going anywhere in life= UNFUCKABLE & UNDATEABLE, with the exception of the just got layed off, or his car being fixed cos therefore he CAN go get a job & he WILL eventually have a car you shouldn't date or fuck a bum, YES GUYS WE HAVE STANDARDS BESIDE LOOKS.
7-If you get involved with a coworker REALIZE you could possibly end up having to see someone you use to fuck on a daily basis when it ends, and if it ends horribly YOU'RE ALSO FUCKED ps-it probably WILL end & also if you start to date another co worker among your female co workers YOU WILL be known as the player.
8-Don't still be hung up on your ex, YES GIRLS CAN TELL WHEN YOU ARE!
9-DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF if you can try everyday, at least every week, i don't care if you have girlfriend or are dating a girl do something for you, its healthy for you & healthy for your relationship, whether its drinks with the guys after work on saturdays or weekly boys night football or working out everyday or a daily nap after work WHATEVER just do something that you enjoy its healthy & good for you!
10-When it comes to the bedroom, if you wanna try something with your girl, SPEAK THE FUCK UP! DON'T GO OUT & CHEAT ON HER DOUCHE BAG! just speak up no biggie i'm sure you're not going to ask her to put a diaper on you and give you a bottle right? no so chill don't be afraid she'll most likely let you try it at least once & if she likes it then a bunch more times! & therefore she might have something up her sleeve she would like to try as well & who knows what kind of fun that can lead to for BOTH of you ;)
11-Grow a beard or Go home! beards, scruff we LOVE IT! ;)
ps-FIRST DATE PLACES!
in pasadena ca, AFLOAT SUSHI, you can sit side by side instead of face to face, and there's a moat like table that has little boats with different sushi on them, you see the sushi dish you like and take it from the boat it fun, cute atmosphere GREAT sushi too!
in venice ca, c&o tratorria best itaian, cocktails & yummy bread balls NOTE:breadballs=you're gonna need a tooth pick but its great for lunch OR dinner not too pricey, you eat outside theres heat lamps in case its cols it's close to the beach sso you can walk around venice for some conversation after the date & there's a skate park too!
in fullerton ca,Veronese gallery cafe super homey atmosphere, nice lighting, romantic type, it's liek walking into a house where all the rooms have little chairs & tables no beds there's and outside & inside area not pricey at all really cute spot to stay and conversate after there's a gallery upstairs too
in santa monica ca, divita's off wilshire amazing italian genuine pizza & pasta, wine & beer dim lighting family restaurant atmosphere great service great place to stay and conversate plus the santa monica pier is a few streets down!
IF YOU KNOW A GREAT SPOT LEAVE ME A COMMENT! :)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
was the inspiration for my new hair cut, no more side bangs. She is so gorgeous i love her & her hair is so adorable i wish my hair would grow longer grr! but i'll wait it out i guess my hair feels amazing now tho thanks for my hair cut helen! took an hour to cut my hair i have way too much but i like me new doo! :)
Monday, August 9, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
horrible day=Cocorosie! work was shit today, so i get in my car and it's like my ipod knew i needed a pick me up so bad. Cocorosie's turn me on always gives me the chills, It's sucha great song to just sing out loud & chill to
&&& these are my most favorite covers :) enjoycover of Kevin Littles turn me on by Cocorosie
cover of Britney Spears toxic by Versaemerge
cover of T.I.'s whatever you like by Anya Marina
cover of how deep is your love by the bee gees by the bird & the bee
Cover of kings of leon's use somebody by Pixie Lott
Cover of wayne wonders no letting go by taken by trees; sorry this is the only video i found
Cover of superstar by the carpenters by Sonic Youth
Cover of kanye's heartless by The Fray
Cover of radiohead's no suprises by Regina Spektor
last but not least is Erlend Oye covering The Smiths- there is a light that never goes out
IF YOU KNOW OF ANY DOPE COVERS FEEL FREE TO COMMENT ME THE LINK TO EM :)
Friday, August 6, 2010
|i want these toms! they're so cute! |
want these osborns too! in love with these shoes check them out here
&&& i love this video Dominic Monaghan, Eminem babes & Rihanna's hair looks dope she's beautiful! pay day was today & my paycheck was 666.99 wtf! hahah random but that made my morning lol
Thursday, August 5, 2010
ok so first things first, my package came in the mail today! i ordered 2 kimchi dresses! one in baby pink & one in black cos i mean who doesn't need a lbd BUT I bought it for a wedding, my cousins actually, and I dunno if I should keep the pink or the black for the wedding its at night but the pinks cute but the black is pretty too... bottom line I like both & I can't freaking decide HELP?!? so here's both pink & black dresses
here's the close up of the detailing on the dresses
and here's the pink
no ideaaaaa which to choos. Is it dumb to have the same dress in 2 colors??? kinda right? help!
AND second I've been baking! I love the cupcakes I made! look
owl cupcakesssss! oreos & cake frosting goes a long way!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
I get my hair as long as past my boobs or like the ginger in the second photo, I'm going back to red again I miss it & I love changing up my hair every few months I've had it red twice once when it was really short then once again when it was a little past my shoulders but I've never had it that long and red so i wanna try it, I've been trying to grow my hair out for sooo long now, haircut in a few weeks, and in a few months hello ginger!
red hair is adorable i've always been a fan not of red heads, just the hair color, the reddish kind not orangey!
ps-hopefully in a few months i ALSO lose my tan too cos red hair looks better on light skin ;)
red hair is adorable i've always been a fan not of red heads, just the hair color, the reddish kind not orangey!