2. the benefits of owning a car that only seats two people is that you never have to give a group of your douchebag asshole acquaintance friends a ride anywhere. ‘Oh, yeah, sorry man. I’d love to, but my car only seats two. i totally don’t have enough room. sad face.’ simple, and guilt free.
3. just because a girl has super short pixie hair doesn’t mean she’s a lesbian.
4. writing in your journal in public, especially at 2am at the 101 coffee shop, is not cool. At least if you write memos in your blackberry, people will think you’re text messaging- which is completely acceptable!
5. if people tell you that you can’t wear jeans on a hike- you just tell them that cowboys wore jeans! and those guys did crazy shit PLUS rode horses even!
6. if the buttons look cheap-, don’t buy it!
7. when buying new sheets, you must wash them before you sleep on them. otherwise, you could get a crazy horrible rash! Don’t do it. Just don’t do it!
8. when referring to other countries and which side of the road they drive on- say ‘the opposite’ or ‘ the other side of the road’, not ‘the wrong side of the road’. to them, the side they drive on is normal!
9. don’t smoke pot in your car while you’re driving. Especially if there are four of you in the car and you’re behind me and I can see you in my rear view mirror! It’s just not cool, and quite frankly- it’s super dangerous. don’t think i won’t call the coppers!
10. according to Betty and Veronica comic books, legend has it, if you get a sunburn- the remedy is simple: soak in a bath and add two earl gray tea bags. you won’t regret it!
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