1. if you like a girl, just call her. please CALL her.
2. if you like a boy, DON’T call him. Let him call YOU!
3. don’t wait for the phone to ring. you should be juggling men, reading a book, going to the gym, and working towards taking over the world ALL AT ONCE!
4. Hey m cafe- how about you take the raw onions out of the kale salad. What are you trying to do, ruin my life?!
7. NEVER obsess over a dude – whether you’re in a relationship OR single.
8. here’s a secret: everyone comes out of a vagina-unless they were removed via c section OR a mistaken miscarriage that swam to the surface of the toilet bowl or carpet it landed in. So don’t let someone make you feel less then, OR not as good as them. Unless they ARE better-cuz that does happen sometimes too. Sorry.
9. don’t talk shit. it’s just a good habit to break! ESPECIALLY if you don’t mean it. cuz even if you DON’T talk shit, I’m sure some asshole out there is saying you said something that you didn’t. and if you DO talk shit – people talk and it will get back to the person you’re ragging on. yeah RAGGING!
10. DUDES: if you WANT to be celibate, you don’t HAVE to grow a goatee! but it will definitely help!